Scriptures on Marriage and Roles
How God designs the marriage role of traditional homes as seen according to the Bible
It is like a hierarchy
First God-Jesus
Man
Wife
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
Instead of approaching this article with a romantic introduction, I’m going to approach it with a realistic approach so as to help preserve the harmony in many Christian relationships as advised in the Bible.
The Word Says, Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of songs 2:15
Life has those little problems that sprout up like weeds that would ruin the whole marriage if we don’t uproot them quickly.
At first, they seem harmless if left unattended but if we don’t weed out those problems they could completely choke the happiness of the whole relationship ruining a harmonious marriage.
It goes without saying that I see a lot of really cute memes on the internet of girls who post their relationship goals.
All the girls want the same thing. A really sweet guy that romances her and treats her well financially with large bouquets of flowers, expensive gifts like cars, clothes, trips, and a wedding ring.
I’m not going to lie I fell into that mirage for a while and began to realize that many relationships don’t last long as society opts out for multiple backups and quick fixes instead of committing to a relationship through hardships as they work through life’s problems together.
I’ve noticed that relationships in our current culture in the US and Latin America continuously fail because a lack of love and commitment in the relationships isn’t a priority.
A lot of relationships fall apart because as soon as the going gets rough people exchange partners for an easy backup solution instead of confronting the problem and riding it out together.
The failure in most relationships goes so much further than infidelity as it is still a problem in society but other little weeds and thorns pop up in the gardens of love of marriages that should be addressed quickly so as to preserve the harmony of love and trust between a married couple as we traditionally see in the Bible.
Here are a few examples of the little foxes we should catch in the vineyards of our marriages that are in bloom
Know eachother’s love language and respond to your partner in their love language, not in yours.
Don’t entertain thoughts or conversations with the opposite sex that you know you shouldn’t be doing.
Don’t find yourself alone with another person of the opposite sex in secret places.
Wives don’t nag your husband (Proverbs 25:24, Proverbs 19:13)
Agree on a budget that is comfortable for both to have a better understanding of financial stability in the marriage
Intentionally and continually date your partner
Don’t display excessive expressions of anger at each other. Everyone gets angry from time to time (Ephesians 4:26) but too much of a temper and taking out your emotions on each other is a sign of weakness of character by the aggressor and never the fault of the victim.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (proverbs 15:1)
God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) but he hates violence even more. Never let anyone ever verbally or physically abuse you. If it gets so bad you should leave that relationship and seek help.
Thus says the Lord, “Do justice and righteousness, and deliver the one who has been robbed from the power of his oppressor. Also do not mistreat or do violence to the stranger, the orphan, or the widow; and do not shed innocent blood in this place. Jeremiah 22:3
Now back to more romantic topics
The Husband
In courtship getting to know people
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, nd obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding; For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, And her gain than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her. (Proverbs 3:13-22)
Marriage - husband
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31)
As a second generation Hispanic child, my parents taught me that we really don’t want to live in our in laws house as newlyweds. The whole situation gets so awkward and uncomfortable as your in-laws will be nosy in your marriage and telling you how to do things as you are still living under their roof and have to follow their rules since they are still parents. You don’t have freedom of independence as you would in your own home and disagreements can escalate as in-laws can buttheads living in a shared space that is probably better off in the privacy of your own marriage nest.
The husband is the head of the wife as Jesus is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23)
Wives should take note that God places your husband in your life to lead you and not to rule over you. He should lead you closer to Jesus and be there to instruct you in the Word and in life. He feels more like a man if we let him make the important last decisions and respect his choices as such.
I’ve heard these sayings also before: “The husband is the head of the wife but she is his neck and can help him turn it.”
The husband wears the pants, but she controls the zipper… haha
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4) - This is self explanatory, haha.
Do not commit adultery (Romans 13:9)
Jesus says, If you look at a woman to lust after her you have already committed adultery with her in your heart (Matthew 5:28)
Husband love your wife like Jesus loves the church (Ephesians 5:33)
Wives
Wives respect your husband (Ephesians 5:33).
I one time read a book called Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires and The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggeriches that a woman’s needs are different from a man’s needs in a marital relationship. The woman wants to be loved most and thinks that this is what the man also needs in return. When he doesn’t respond the way that she wants is because she is not giving him what he needs. In fact, the truth of the fact is that the man really needs to be respected and in turn, he returns her needs in love to keep the relationship in a cycle of harmony.
Parenting
Naturally, most marriages will extend their marriage nest and add to the family. Children are a gift from God and it is important to care for them in the way that the Bible expresses us to do in the love of Jesus.
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonishing of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4)
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)
God places the lonely in families Psalm 68:6
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3
If you enjoyed this article on marriage and love keep a look out for my next article on how God views children. In my opinion it’s a sweet and tender approach to how God loves kids and seeks out a relationship with them from a young tender age through Jesus. Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed this topic feel free to share it with others as well.